Purpose of “LIFE”

Purpose of “LIFE”

Before we define the purpose of life lets understand what we do in our life.

We always search / aim for something in our life.  May be for wealth, beautiful wife / handsome husband, good job, more salary, lovable relationship or even salvation / liberation and so on……..

We keep trying something throughout our life to achieve and will never settle down.

It is nothing wrong in setting ambitions in life that’s what keeps you alive and ticking.  But no one can ever taste the real happiness when we achieve what we set, because the moment you achieve then the next and it will go on forever. This everyone would have experienced in life. Say for example, when you are terribly hungry you want to eat the food first and then everything. The moment you put the food and quench the hunger your mind starts focusing on the next thing to get satisfied. The mind wants something else now.

Please watch this vlog for wonderful sharing about Life  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiojpfzRjgc&feature=youtu.be

I can end this chapter by highlighting two statements. One from my Hero Swami Vivekananda and second is my perspective about life.

1.       Swami Vivekananda says- “Neti , Neti “  meaning -   “ Not This, Not This”. We can only experience that this is NOT but never be able to clearly say this is what the purpose of Life.







2.       In fact, the purpose of life is – “NO –THING”

• Anything you bring / define will not really satisfy or meaningful and it is an effort to carry a PURPOSE. In fact, Life is Effortless and everything happens on its own.  

Just try the following with an effort. You will not be able to succeed.

1.       Try to meditate …..

2.       Try to Sleep …….

3.       Try to be happy ……

Perspective - Marriage

Marriage:

This is a compilation of Prof. Morrie’s experiences in his life shared in the book “Tuesdays’ with Morrie”.  In this book, Morrie talks about Death, Marriage, Forgiveness, Aging, Fear, Greed, Society etc. to his ex-student called Mitch.

This blog is a continuation of blog series on Life.

 Let’s first hear from Professor Morrie about Marriage and my views on marriage follows.

“Well, I feel sorry for your generation,” Morrie said. “In this culture, it’s so important to find a loving relationship with someone because so much of the culture does not give you that. But the poor kids today, either they’re too selfish to take part in a real loving relationship, or they rush into marriage and then six months later, they get divorced. They don’t know what they want in a partner. They don’t know who they are themselves—so how can they know who they’re marrying?”

Mitch (his Student) asks “Is there some kind of rule to know if a marriage is going to work?”

Morrie smiled. “Things are not that simple, Mitch” he said. “Still, there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage”. We will look at those rules at the end of this chapter.

Almost everyone has a problem with marriage. Some are unable to get a partner for marriage, while, some are unable to cope-up with it. For any relationship to get-going there must be some values common to the partners. Some of those values are:

1.       Institution of Marriage

o   Belief

o   Duty

o   Trust

2.       Thoughts on Money

Institution of Marriage: I personally feel that marriage is important. In the animal kingdom, there is no concept called marriage. They act in accordance with nature’s destiny. Script cannot be altered. But in case of Humans, there are certain sets of values, which include the Institution called Marriage. Unless there is a strong belief in this institution, mutually concerning duties and trust on each other, the relationship may not sustain. In lay man language, Institution of Marriage is like a pillar around which kids play. If the grip is lost, its effects will be awful. So, guys, hold on to the pillar come what may, end result would always be joyful.

If the spouse gives importance to money over all other aspects of life thinking that money will do “EVERYTHING”, then it is a trouble. I don’t say money is not important. But, we cannot build relationships through money. The relationship will not long last or it will be a pain to keep that relationship going. The point is to strike a balance between money and life. To decide HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH is important.

If you have money for your needs and requirements, then the money will save / protect you. If you accumulate wealth just to show off your status, you have to protect the money. Subsequently, you will lose the mental peace.

According to Professor Morrie following are the important rules for Marriage.

o   If you don’t respect the other person, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.

o   If you don’t know how to compromise, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.

o   If you can’t talk openly about what goes on between you, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble.

o   And if you don’t have a common set of values in life, you’re gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.

According to Hindu Marriage the following are the factors and Attainment of the following are the main object of a married life:

1.       Dharma – Righteousness

2.       Artha –Wealth

3.       Kama – Desire and  

4.       Moksha – Salvation or liberation

A man is only half of a whole unless he is married. Marriage is also essential according to Hindu scriptures because only by entering a matrimonial alliance with opposite sex, a man can enter into Grahsthaskram (Meaning “Family life”) and it is only this Asharma where he is allowed to practice Dharma, Artha, Kama and Mokhsa.

According to me everything / everyone who comes to this Earth will perish one day. But, the question is, what is the path to be followed? We have many paths (live in relationship or marriage). But I personally prefer / suggest that the above said Family Life is the path.

I end this chapter with the statement made my Jesus

“…so they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate” - Jesus.

Man of the Century

I am sharing this blog about the Greatest Human Being of this Century and my Country India.

 I dedicate this blog to my Hero Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.

But, before I talk about that person, I want to give a brief recap of India’s journey from the foreign rulers to starting to self rule in 1947. Let’s look at the Indian history in brief.

The southern state of Kerala had maritime business links with the Roman Empire from around 77 CE. Islam was introduced in Kerala through this route by Muslim traders. Muslim rule in the sub-continent began in 712 CE when the Arab general Muhammad bin Qasim conquered Sindh and Multan in Southern Punjab in modern day Pakistan, setting the stage for several successive invasions from Central Asia between the 10th and 15th centuries, leading to the formation of Muslim empires in the Indian subcontinent such as the Delhi Sultanate and the Mughal Empire.

Beginning, mid-18th century and over the next century, large areas of India were annexed by the British East India Company. Dissatisfaction with Company rule led to the Indian Rebellion of 1857, after which the British provinces of India were directly administered by the British Crown and witnessed a period of both rapid development of infrastructure and economic decline.

There were few people who shaped-up the entire human race, left a message and influenced whole mankind. One of them was MK Gandhi.

He fought the British with non-violence and civil resistance. Around the same period, the world was witnessing other extreme personalities like Hitler, who were killing thousands and thousands of human beings.

Albert Einstein said, “Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth”

I want to present some of my view as in the eyes of MK Gandhi.

Leadership:

I have never come across a person with such a high level of leadership like Mahatma Gandhi. The following statement by him shows what leadership is all about.

“Leadership I suppose at one time meant muscles but today it means getting along with people”

 Economic Development: ‘India’ lives in its villages. But today’s progress seizes lands from the villagers for industrial development. I am not against industrial development. But, the lands that were used for agriculture few decades back have now been converted to commercial development. This shows that agriculture is slowly dying and the back bone of our country is losing its strength. I just want to quote what Mahakavi Bharathi said “even if one person doesn’t have food to eat, the entire world will be destroyed”. Despite having food stored in government go-downs, people go to sleep with half filled stomach.

Spiritual / Religion: Gandhiji considered Hindus and Muslims as his two eyes, but today the level of tolerance and understanding amongst various religions is at question and is threatening the very fabric of this great nation. Political parties are also using religion as a means to divide people for their narrow political gains.

Violence: Today, we are all revealing violence through words, deeds and actions in some way or the other. We are becoming a highly intolerant society. Mahatma beautifully quotes on non-violence as below:

 “When I have become incapable of evil and when nothing harsh or haughty occupies, be it momentarily, my thought-world, then, and not till then, my non-violence will move all the hearts of the entire world. I have placed before me and the reader no impossible ideal or ordeal. It is man's prerogative and birthright.

 Re-calling seven deadly sins mentioned by Gandhiji:

1. Intolerance is a personal failure to accept reality

2. Intolerance is a failure of intelligence

3. Intolerance is an error of judgment about Ultimate Truth

4. Intolerance is an error which breeds psychological disorder

5. Intolerance is an error which breeds social disorder

6. Intolerance is an error which breeds political disorder

7. Intolerance is a pragmatic failure: it doesn’t work

Mahatma Gandhi silently took the entire man-kind to a different level of consciousness through non-violence.

I am listing some of his thoughts here and I feel they will be applicable till such time the human race exists in this planet.  

1.    Change yourself.

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

2.    Forgive and let it go.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

3.    Everyone is human.

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

4.    Continue to grow and evolve.

”Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”

Perspective About Life - Part 5: "Values"

Values:

 In this blog am sharing my experiences and observations with the youngsters of this century.

Where we, youngsters, are heading in life? What do we know about life? Are we placing our values in the right aspects?

For example, if we place our value on Money, our life will be determined by Money and money related aspects. We may end up buying big property, car, etc., I don’t say you should not buy property, car etc., but basically the idea of MORE IS GOOD is not the right way of living. It is a very disillusioned life.

Recently, I saw a program on a TV channel. It was a money based quiz program. The question was, “From which city did Mother Teresa serve the most in India?” The contestants had no clue, despite the options. Second question was, “Where in India is the place Jalianwalabagh where the massacre happened?” Absolutely no clue for this either.

 My pain, in the above mentioned incident is not, about, not knowing the answer, but, about, not knowing the life of such great human beings and our very own Indian History.  Their lives give us great insights.

Let me quote what Professor Morrie stated to Mitch in “Tuesdays with Morrie”

“Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning”

“I don’t mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It’s not so hard.

“Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, and you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back.”

In my opinion, if I am not making difference in somebody’s life, I am not living my life to its fullest. It gives me fulfillment when I complete the self-set social responsibilities like blood donation, contributing time and money for the senior citizens’ homes and trust that support the under-privileged children. Am not saying don’t enjoy your life but spend some time for others who are in need. We spend a lot of time for ourselves and why not for others too.

 “There’s a big confusion over what we want versus what we need,” Morrie said. “You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don’t need the latest sports car, you don’t need the biggest house. “The truth is, you don’t get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?” What? “Offering others what you have to give.”

Let me give my idol man, Mahatma Gandhi’s words to finish this chapter, “Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.”










                                              Will come back with my next topic on " Marriage"

Perspective about Life - Part 4

Fear of Aging

 

Everyone worries about aging. There is an internal fear about aging. Thirty year old envies 20 year old for what he or she is; fifty year old envies 30 year old for what he or she is and so on. This happens because we don’t live life to the fullest. At any given age, there is an incomplete feeling about the way we have lived our life so far and this is carried forward to the next stage. Thus, there is an unfinished agenda or unfulfilled dream at every stage of our life. Why is this so?

In fact, it is not all about aging but about the MIND. Age is just a projection of MIND. Body is, definitely, aging but not YOU.

It’s like this, a person who doesn’t have even motor cycle envies the person having one, person having a two-wheeler envies  the person having a car and so on. The same way, we don’t accept the aging process fully.

Whenever I hear someone say, “ I have completed my life” ,“ I am done I have no life left” , I always respond to them saying, “LIFE is PRESENT in a 70 year old as much as in a 20 year old. Past and future is always for the mind not for LIFE. You cannot live life from the MIND. The very saying of “I am done” is itself a mind game. Time exists in the MIND not in LIFE.

Nowadays, there are some ads promising to slow the aging process by 10 years and so on. This is absolute madness and exploitation. You don’t need to stop aging. In fact, you can’t stop aging anyway. It’s a wonderful process. In fact, nowadays the aging is faster inside the body. We grow much older inside than on the outside. The youth of today is much more miserable than the older generation.. If you battle against getting older, you will always be unhappy, unsatisfied and frustrated.

Going back to Morie’s, Morrie lost his battle. Someone was now wiping his behind. He faced this with typically brave acceptance. His student asked Morrie how he managed to stay positive through that. “Mitch (his student), it’s funny,” he said. “I’m an independent person, so my inclination was to fight all of this—being helped from the car, having someone else dressing me. I felt a little ashamed, because our culture tells us we should be ashamed if we can’t wipe our own behind”

We always say I wish I were 15 or 20. Why we say that. Let’s listen to Morrie again.

He says “You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven’t found meaning. Because if you’ve found meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more and do more. You can’t wait until sixty-five.

Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, “He who has a WHY to live can bear almost ANYHOW.”

To quote an example from my life, Mr.X(for want of privacy I don’t want to mention the name) is my friend. He had a very good education and hence went abroad to make a living. He struggled to establish his career right from day one. Gradually, he progressed in his professional life but one fine day he decided to leave the country and come back to settle down in a small town in India. When he left the job he was earning almost 2 to 3 lacs per month (INR). He resigned!!! For WHAT?? Let me unfold the events behind that decision.

His son is autistic (Autism is a disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior).  His family lived in India while he was abroad. His son needed the family attention the most. As per the doctor’s advice, such a child needs 24x7 attention from the family members especially from the parents.For that, he had to take him to several therapy sessions daily.

The son was so attached to his father that I can’t express in words. He resolved to see that his son at least take care of his essentials and not be dependent on others in the future.  To be with his son, he quit his high profile job, and  set up a small business in that small town.  He now earned one tenth of what he was earning when he left that job.  He said  whatever his son cannot enjoy, he didn’t   want that in his life.  What else I can say about his life.

 I need to quote what Friedrich said once again, “He who has a WHY to live can bear almost ANYHOW.”

I also pray every day for the betterment of his life (read as “his son’s life). Certainly, he will be most content person when his son  asks for food by himself, asks for things which he has never expressed, asks for a joy ride, asks for everything which he has missed in his early part of life. He will never repent what he is doing now, because he has found meaning in life.

Unfortunately, no one can give what are those “whys” and you need to discover on your own. Existentially, you need to understand and cherish your journey called “LIFE”. Life is beautiful. 

We can’t give the purpose of life in theory.  But to put it simply, we can say LIFE is to LIVE. If we accept this as a definition then LIFE is just a flow like the river flows. You can’t step in to the same river again. But, we live in the PAST. That is the fundamental trouble. The PAST always gives you unfulfillment, FUTURE gives you false hope but only PRESENT gives you the reality because you will encounter the FUTURE in the PRESENT, only at some other point.

If we don’t bring our attention, focus, everything NOW then we will be perennially dissatisfied with the LIFE. OUR dissatisfaction itself is an indicator that we are being used by MIND.

We are fully capable to deal with NOW and whatever age you may be. That is how the system is designed. We are not capable to deal with the FUTURE. It is just a MIND game. When someone says I will enjoy once I complete my graduation, once I complete my marriage, once I become a father / mother etc., these are MIND games. MIND plays game on YOU.

Follow the following tips to bring your attention to NOW.

Walking:

Whenever you walk please bring you attention or focus on your walk. Enjoy your every step as if you are walking first time.

Eating:

When you eat, focus your attention to the food you eat completely. The smell, taste, temperature etc.,

Sitting:

Just sit, don’t process anything while you are in that state. Focus your attention on the body posture, your weight, your beautiful hands and legs etc.

Meditation:

One of the best methods to bring your attention is MEDITATION. This is not about any religion. All that you need is to sit (whatever may be the posture) and just watch what is going on inside. Just watch your breathing (inhale and exhale). I don’t want to preempt anything more than this. Then it will be mind which will feed your while you meditate. It will be an expectation.

At first, Your mind will wander, thinking about tomorrow’s program, interview, meeting with boss, meeting with tough client or someone who insulted you some time back, your fight with your wife / husband and so on. The mind will start supplying all the information to keep itself alive. You may ask me what you will achieve by doing these seemingly simple activities. Believe me, you will be surprised, amazed to know how many times you  slip into to the past and the future; forgetting entirely what is happening now. That’s the start point of bringing your attention now.

If you can’t do these seemingly simple activities with 100% attention / awareness, you can’t come out of the things which has been going on and on in your mind for many years and live life fully.

To Summarize:

1. Ask frequently what is going on in your MIND right now.
2. Don’t analyze or feel guilty or change the flow of the mind. Just be aware.
3. If you are in doubt, bring your attention to your body. Body gives you the true state of what is happening inside. Body reflects what is going on your mind. Your body cannot be in the Past or Future.  It gives you the true picture of who you are at this moment. It is the doorway to your mind.
4. Bring your attention to your daily activities like taking bath, walking, eating, spending time with kids etc.,
5. Surrender to the Nature which is taking care all the time.
6. Above all do meditate – watching the breath (inhale and exhale). It is a beautiful thing a human being can do.

Enjoy your LIFE in the PRESENT as it is the only thing we have in hand and we are always in the hand of GOD / NATURE / ALMIGHTY.

Perspective about Life - Part 3

Emotions

It is said that it takes a long time to understand human emotions. May be that’s why this long gap after my previous blog. This episode is on one of the important aspects of life - “EMOTIONS”.

The English word emotion is derived from the French word émouvoir. This is based on the Latin emovere, where e- (variant of ex-) means "out" and movere means "move." So emotion is something that we express or bring out what you feel inside.

Let’s continue with our Professor’s experiences. At this stage “Morrie can’t eat most of this food. It’s too hard for him to swallow. He has to eat soft things and liquid drinks now.”

Morrie’s health had deteriorated and small horrors of his illness were growing. He was coughing more than usual, a dry, dusty cough that shook his chest and made his head jerk forward.

Morrie closed his eyes. “What I’m doing now,” he continued, his eyes still closed, “is detaching myself from the experience.”

“Detaching yourself? What does it mean?” his student asked.

Morrie continued “Yes. Detaching myself. And this is important—not just for someone like me, who is dying, but for someone like you, who is perfectly healthy. Learn to detach.” He opened his eyes and exhaled. “You know what the Buddhists say? Don’t cling to things, because everything is impermanent.”

Usually, aren’t we always talking about “experience our life both the good and bad ones”. But how is it possible when we detach ourselves and at the same time experience.

Now, detaching oneself from emotions is actually a challenge for every human being. In fact, it is my experience, that when we fully experience the emotion we transcend or at least we understand better about ourselves. Our emotions are authentic sources to understand ourselves. We don’t detach as Morrie says, we either deny or rather control.

Morrie further stated “Take any emotion – love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.”

When we were young, we were very expressive without any inhibitions, But, as we grow we learn lots of don’ts from this life. We suppress our emotions and don’t let it prevail. Let’s take fear for example, either we avoid the situation or encounter the situation with the resistance thinking that the situation is undesirable or unwanted in your life. Hence we lose the opportunity of understanding your true nature. Fear or any emotion is just a façade we need to go beyond the emotion, that is possible only when we embrace the EMOTION fully and get transformed.

Morrie says “when he felt his chest locked in heaving surges or when he wasn’t sure where his next breath would come from. These were horrifying times, he said, and his first emotions were horror, fear, and anxiety. But once he recognized the feel of those emotions, their texture, their moisture, the shiver down the back, the quick flash of heat that crosses your brain—then he was able to say, “Okay. This is fear. Step away from it. Step away.”

We need this in everyday life. How is it possible to be non-attached and at the same time work and produce results.  I have been enquiring about this in my life ever since I started reading Bhaghavat Gita. Let’s try to understand this. It is very interesting. How we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.

Morrie’s approach is exactly the opposite. “Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “All right, it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.”

 “By throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.’”

Let me quote another example on Non-attachment or detachment. I am reading a book on KRISHNA – the MAN and HIS Philosophy by OSHO.

Non-attachment or Anasakti in Sankrit is one of the most mis-understood words.

Attachment has two faces, negative and positive. For example, someone is attached to sex and someone else is attached to it opposite – Brahmacharya or celibacy. Negative attachment is as much an attachment as positive attachment. Non-attachment is altogether different and has deeper meaning.

A non-attached mind, according to lord KRISHNA, is one that accepts everything unconditionally. The interesting truth is that if you accept something totally it doesn’t leave a mark, a scar on your mind. Your mind remains unscathed and undisturbed.

All our lives are full of past and the past impressions accumulated over a period of time. These impressions and residue were from the past events we encountered in our life. These past experiences are driving our lives and we use these impressions to guide our life and eventually get frustrated.  

Let’s listen to Morrie to end this chapter and its relevance and use of “EMOTIONS” in LIFE.

“I want to die serenely, peacefully.  And this is where detachment comes in. If I die in the middle of a coughing spell (heavy coughing) like I just had, I need to be able to detach from the horror, I need to say, ‘This is my moment.’ I don’t want to leave the world in a state of fright. I want to know what’s happening, accept it, get to a peaceful place, and let go”

EMOTIONS are beautiful and it is the doorway to get inside the REAL YOU and understand YOURSELF. Have a beautiful (emotionful) LIFE.